Death and the Child · Posted Apr 16, 06:47 PM by Todd Babiak
The other day, my daughter and I walked down the street to an open house. It was a sunny day, and I was getting bored with poking things with sticks in the front yard, naming things in both of Canada’s official languages, and marveling at passing airplanes. So we walked to the end of the block, to the ravine. I opened the door and my daughter, who turned two not long ago, sprinted inside the house in her muddy boots.
I spirited her up, removed her boots, and walked through the house. We’re not keen to move at the moment, but it was fun to wander through and discuss the existence of each room.
“That’s the bathroom,” she said.
“How do you say that in French?”
Pause, pause, pause. “What’s that say?”
“La toilette. La toilette.”
“Go en bas!”
“All right.”
On the way home, we walked on the other side of the street, in the sunshine. There was a dead squirrel on the sidewalk, freshly killed. Obviously, it had been hit by a car. Magpies and crows hopped nearby, waiting for us to pass.
“What’s that?” my daughter said.
“A squirrel. Un ecureuil.”
“What’s it doing?”
And I didn’t know what to say. So I picked her up and we continued along. My daughter was quiet and I was quiet. No one had trained me for this part of parenting. Is it best to be honest, and get into a discussion about death with a two-year-old? I didn’t want to say the squirrel was sleeping.
We were almost home and she said, “That squirrel wants his mommy.”
What she had said and the way she had said it, the fact that she had been pondering the squirrel for five minutes, that she had understood somehow, made me want to fall to my knees and hold on to her and bawl. Of course, I didn’t. That would have scared the shit out of her.
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Todd, I love this story. You choked me up, you bugger. I so know this…wanting to fall on your knees and hold on to your daughter and bawl….This same story told by a writer less talented would have, I suspect, not have been as powerful as this simple, profound showing.
Thanks
Thomas
— Thomas Apr 22, 12:51 PM #